Can't really

I met him in the rain and tears went down my eyes as we kissed for the first time
It was love at first sight, it was wonderful and nice
What it really was, was suicide
And I cannot find a reason why he stayed that night with a girl we knew
He said it meant nothing
Well if that's what he wants, what the hell did I mean to him

And now they're wondering why I can't really like myself and feel pretty
But he gave my love to someone else
And now they're wondering why I can't really be myself and feel pretty
But he took too much and now I am gone

Just a bit of  time goes and I already know who's child I'm carrying inside me
It was just a weak moment, now the love that we felt is down on the floor as I bleed
Well it really meant nothing, at the same time it meant everything
What can I do
I'm just a little cracked up lying in my bed tonight

And I smile and I cry and I try to understand
But I can't
And I wait and I wait
For nothing...